For those of you who didn't go or don't know, last night as the 2nd annual KL Word party: Lust. It was Elaine's birthday. I've also won a Little Black Book! :D yeay! Wanted 1 since like it first released. Now I actually don't have to meet the seller and arrange to buy the book. No pics la.. its just a plain black book with cool B&W pics of lezzies. However, you can go to my Facebook link to see the pictures of the party: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=158997&id=1605908454&l=483f0eb400
And now, around 13 hours later, here I am sitting with a migraine, blurred vision and sleep deprived. Mom is seated in front of me talking about the things she always talk about: work, work, work and work (I almost seem to know every single person in her office and car wash already). OH and a change.. nagging at me for something I didn't do and forgetting what I told her again.
Anyways, a couple of nights ago, I dreamt that my house was broken into by a man. The man was slightly taller than me; he was quite big but not exactly in shape; Malay; hair was pretty short and side-combed quite neatly; face was slightly unshaven. There was only my mom, my cousin (girl) and me in the house; Dad and bro was elsewhere. He was threatening us and telling us to be still while he takes the items. At the back of my head, I knew he had the intention of raping them too. Well, there's a dagger in my room (even in reality just in case). I managed to sneak away while he was threatening them. I grabbed the dagger and came back and slitted his neck from the back. He died just like that. Before I killed him, I told myself: If I have to attend court for him, I will not be put behind bars. This is self-defense.
There was this rush of bravery in me that triggered me to kill the intruder. The killing was done rather neatly and respectfully; Almost professionally I would say. I just slitted him, the blood flowed out from his neck and the times as the blade drove deeper into his neck, he turned to look at me. He wore this look of shock and anger on his face. That was terrifying for a temporal moment but I was almost there. And at one point, I felt his bodily tension release and the man just felt motionless and I knew that I had removed him from his life. And after that, I released the body of the man which I had grasp onto. He fell like a thud onto the floor in front of my crying mom and cousin. Right after that, a rush of emptiness intrudes within me. I starred at the pile of unmoving mass on my bedroom floor. The feeling (or rather, non-feeling) that I felt was indescribable.
It was quite an awakening dream. Me being the psychology-st (Not to be confused with psychologists; psychology-st means psychology student), I took my dreams and unraveled its lateral meanings. I think what it is trying to say is that I took the courage and dared to commit to removing something from my life that will result in a better good for all. What is it that I removed? How is it that I remove? It is all symbolized in the description of the man as well as the killing.
So what do you all think?
Anyways later I'm going to go see 'Mahsuri the musical' thanks to Anna Maria/Angel/Maya. Looking forward to it! :) And tomorrow ITS CONNEXION PERFORMANCE DAY! WOOTZ! Play guitar, take pics, eat good food and meet good people. Peace Out
Your sayang Alexie
P.S. Google toolbar is so super duper awesome especially for us bloggers who 'poyo' want to use all the pro words but don't really know the spelling and whether theres such words even.
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